How do you relate to this slide?
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We all have ways of protecting or defending ourselves from the outside world. Some are more obvious than others. I try to have less walls up, but sometimes it's really hard to keep your defenses down. The rest of the day after class, I was looking at people and sort of trying to guess how much armor they had surrounding themselves, just by the way they walked and looked. Obviously I can't really judge them, but this slide did get me thinking!
ReplyDeleteI was told a quote today in another class that said those who are more comfortable with touch are probably less anxious and less suspicious of people's motives. I can definitely connect that to armor! Some have literal armor, and are uncomfortable with friendly touches, like a pat on the shoulder, and will shrink away. Although I want to note, some people also have sensory processing disorders that make them respond to touch differently- you don't always know.
I think that there are two main times when armor is put up. Either it is always up depending on the person, or it is when someone wants to put that armor up to protect themselves. It can be because they are not feeling in the mood for any type of contact, or it is the other person or people that they do not want to be touched by.
ReplyDeleteI have noticed in some people that their armor is constantly up, and it is obvious. Usually that wall of armor comes from a place of insecurity or inexperience. Also some people are more open to be touched and to touch others naturally than other people.
What I have noticed with myself is that I can put up my armor whenever I want, and it often times depends on what type of mood I am in. It is something that happens naturally, yet I can be very aware of it at the given time.
I feel the most free when I am in situations with people I trust and almost no armor is necessary. I put a lot of energy into finding these situations so I don't have to develope automatic armor. When I am in situations where I need to put up boundaries it causes me a lot of anxiety. I don't have established effective patterns for how to have strong borders when I need them. I feel very vulnerable around people I can't trust.
ReplyDeleteMost of the armor we acquire served a purpose at some point in our lives. The problem comes when we don't need it anymore and wearing the armor becomes habitual. When this happens, I feel that armor gets in the way of my vitality.
ReplyDeleteI remember one of my teachers at some time saying that if we were ready to let go of what blocks us in life (armor), it is important to be grateful for how it has served us in the past. She told us to imagine putting it on an alter, separate from ourselves, and give thanks for how it has served us. I always liked this image and found that honoring this part of myself is an essential to letting it go.
I have always been one to overly protect myself from the outside world. Before I become fully comfortable in a situation, I have to dissolve away the armor that I constantly carry around inside of me. But, because I feel that I am adaptive to different people, places, and activities, my armor usually isn't up for very long if the circumstances are safe. Because of the emotional trauma that I carry from the past, I hold this armor as a precaution, so as not to get hurt again. When I feel 100% comfortable in a situation though, I give my whole self to the world and hold no inhibitions. Music and dance have the power to open me to the world, and when I sing and dance, the fire in my eyes never ceases to burn!
ReplyDeleteI really resonate with your image, callista, of honoring our armor in the process of letting it go. Armor is an essential tool in the process of growing and expanding our ability to meet the world; what is important is that we work towards asserting it from a place of awareness and choice rather than of habit and fear.
ReplyDeleteI also have this realization in my own body that the process of releasing armor (or any form of healing for that matter) is not a linear movement with a beginning and an end, but rather a circular, life-long, quality of living. A way of life that has the ability to move either towards health and mobility or sickness and constriction with an exponential rate of change.
This image, for me, is really powerful because it helps to put into an image something I've been feeling and haven't been able to explain. To be able to essentially see my anxiety in a picture, and gain some understanding of it, gives me an incredibly relaxing feeling. I like what you said, Adam, about the process of healing as a circle--not linear. We have to move our emotions...move through them and allow them to move through us...I think they want to move...and I want to let them- but it requires breaking down some boundaries.. and letting down some armor.
ReplyDeleteits funny i see this image and i'm reminded of the earth and atmosphere. I'm taking a global climate change class this quarter. This picture reminds me of shortwaves and long wave radiation coming into our planet.
ReplyDeleteI can put a tie between both.. Currently we have a lot of negative feelings towards the greenhouse affect. How this trappes certain long wave radiation. But what we forget is without this, there would be no life on our planet. It is very important to have C02 and other greenhouse gases. But to much can cause problems
Like our planet, our bodys and self can be the same.
its really important to have that ability to allow for and recieve emotions and peoples energy. to be open, but at the same time if there is to much of it coming in or if we trapp to much in, we can have a lot of problems. Its nice to have the energy come in and go freely out, or have some stay in a bit and bounce around, like long waves, or have the shield up and reflect some waves, like our cloud layer does..
to have the ability to be complete expression of oneself, to know when can put the armor on, and beokay with this, saying this is me i want to be alone and to allow the in and out, will allow for our internall environment to be a much better state of balance.. like our planet in the sense of needing that balance of heat which gives a perfect environment for living organisms.
It is easy to see the physical manifestations of armor in people's body language. Like Callista said, we build armor because at some point we perceived it as necessary and so when we gain the strength to no longer need it it is difficult to "take it off." Like the first book we read explained that body image is difficult to adjust once the shape of the body has changed and compared that to political and religious beliefs and people's inability to change them, the same seems to be so with armor. I like the way the arrows bounce off and inbetween the different layers of armor because this is what it feels like sometimes. Some threatening force will penetrate one layer and then bounce off another until we become confused about why we are afraid in the first place and become afraid of our fears. Strange.
ReplyDeleteI once asked a man about how he felt about something in his life that seemed important to him. His face got red and his eyes narrowed looking at me as he shook his head. "Don't go there," he warned me. I smiled and said "I'm sorry Dad, I had not realized we were going anywhere." And that was the end of that conversation. "So, what's the weather supposed to be like tomorrow?" "Dunno. I guess we'll find out tomorrow." (The ending of this conversation is fictitious and never occurred. It is used here only to aid in an understanding of my feelings and one of my many relationships, in this case external, toward armor.)
ReplyDelete