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Homunculus Experience:
When do you experience yourself as Homoculus, times when your hands are very acutely, aware, your lips or tongue is hyper alert, etc. These could be very simple observations, but remember this class is in many ways a return to the ordinary moments.
sorry but isn't it "homunculus?"
ReplyDeletei feel like i am most aware of my body when it is tense, or straining. today my hands felt very aware when i was biking after class today; I always feel like my hands are too tense gripping the handlebars, and try to notice and loosen them. my lips and tongue are very alert when i am eating something with a new taste or texture, or something that surprises me.
i also feel my cheeks and nose very much when i've been biking through wind, or when if it's very cold outside. although in a way it's because they are more numb than usual. a warm sting.
my fingers feel especially nimble and sensitive when i am sewing or stitching embroidery. i tend to touch my body in different places, my legs, toes, arms, stomach etc. when i am sitting in a class or meeting. i often try to tell if i am feeling the touch of my arm on fingers or my fingers on my arms, which helps me to recognize the varying levels of sensitivity in my skin.
ReplyDeleteOnce in a while I become very aware of my hearing abilities. It happens most often when it is silent. The silence is almost deafeningly loud. It is hard to ignore the silence and it is almost as if it is closing in. It is then when I can hear the electricity, the clock ticking, or someone breathing softly next to me. It only happens sometimes and when it does I try to listen even harder, to find what I can hear.
ReplyDeleteToday I woke up. I walked downstairs. I made some juice, yum (Apple, Celery, Kale, Cucumber & Carrot, Apple, Ginger Cinnamon)! I made some breakfast for 7. Then me and my friends Jane and Aimee went for a swim, in the rain, in Lake Washington, in October. It was COLD. And then, to make my climactic point, I really woke up. They say you go numb in cold water. I go alive. I become hypersensitive to various bodymaps. The internal hear that burns within tickles parts of my body I am not normally accustomed to being aware of. Who's down for a swim after class?
ReplyDeleteMy hands and fingers tend to be hyper alert when I am playing guitar. Through learned and repeated motor memory skills, I can play, but because of the sensitivity in my hands, I am aware of each string, sliding, bending, and pressing on each one. Because I sing a lot, I am constantly aware of my voice. I can tell when it is tired, in need of rest, or affected by any sort of illness. I am sensitive of its tone, pitch, inflection, vibrato, etc. My homunculus is tuned to music!
ReplyDeleteI am very keenly aware of my hands, my fingers, every nerve at the ends of my arms when I'm touching someone else's hands, or when I'm with people/ a person I feel very connected to. Touch becomes more than touch, I feel all tingly in my hands and the "butterfly" feeling moves throughout my body. I definitely feel like my hands and feet are incredibly sensitive, as Blakeslee talks about in the book, to the point where sometimes it's overwhelming.
ReplyDeleteand Jamie, I'd be down to go swimming anytime:)
ReplyDeleteWhen I was a little kid, I sometimes realize that my tongue felt incredibly HEAVY. So HEAVY that I would get scared (my five year-old self would ask, "Is it turning into lead? Is it turning into a toad? Is it going to blow up?") and I would frantically move it around until it felt 'normal.' Sometimes it still feels heavy, especially in those moments right before I fall asleep. The muscles are relaxed and, without the tension and pressure, I actually feel it. To really feel, both the body and gravity's effect on it, relaxing is imperative.
ReplyDeleteAnni I have had a heavy tongue too! Yes to swimming and that juice mix, is taste-able. And yes my hands and feet come to life at amazing levels too! And Elian your homunculus must have big biceps in the voice and ear department. And I absolutely love the hum of silence. Thanks all for playing in the cyber-realm!
ReplyDeletei think i've gotten used to feeding myself with food, not just on a nutritious level but also on an emotional level. the first thing that comes to my mind when i feel unnurtured is that i should eat ice cream or brownies or pizza, and that will surely help me feel better. in those moments, my world is my mouth. all my focus is on my how the food tastes, smells and feels. in some ways i could say that this is because i want to escape what im feeling and focus on the food, but i think its also about not knowing how to nurture myself in other ways. knowing this, i sometimes will grasp myself during my journey in food and find another way to nurture myself. this weekend i was sick and had to literally stop eating all sugar,dairy and wheat. it was hell, but other ways of nurturing have opened up for me. in order to find new things, i had to completely jump off the cliff into the scary and unknown.
ReplyDeleteWow--heavy tongues! We'll I don't think my tongue has ever felt heavy before but the times I'm completely aware of its sensitivity are: when I'm eating chocolate coconut icecream (YUM), during a sweet kiss, and right now. My hands: the other day I began a sewing project and it was quite fulfilling to feel my hands move acrossed the fabric. My hands were craving to be active, feel textures, and be the center of my attention. It was lovely.
ReplyDeleteWhen I walk barefoot, it feels as if my feet are nourishing the whole rest of my body. I become distinctly aware of new sensations rising from the ground into my lower back and up along my spine. It is pleasurable, massaging. I also notice that my ability to focus is greatly captured by my hands; if I am using them in some way that requires fine motor coordination such as balancing rocks or fixing some bike part or drawing or chopping vegetables, or sewing, the whole of my attention gathers with them.
ReplyDeleteI become extremely aware of my endpoints-hands,feet,head, sense organs, and genitals when dancing, giving a massage, or having sex. When I am dancing my feet and hands feel huge and they feel like they are stirring and spinning energy and attention around me, even to the point of drawing in others energy and then spitting it out as I spin and jump and sway. During massage my hands feel as big as my brain, and my feet are like anchors. During sex, all my endpoints feel like they are on fire and I feel like a sparkler travelling towards my center to burst and then go dark.
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